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idk, rambles. enjoy.
Oct. 12th, 2014 07:40 pmpsitaniums: PUBLIC COLLARS: a thing, y/n?
requicksilvered: y
psitaniums: Doms wearing a similar item of devotion, y/n?
requicksilvered: YYYYYYYYY
psitaniums: I see I hit something there, hahaha.
requicksilvered: subs not treated as lesser
psitaniums: Yeah.
psitaniums: Like, Doms wear a bracelet that a leash can be hooked to or something. Symbolic. Hand of protection bound to place of offered vulnerability or something.
requicksilvered: oh man yes
requicksilvered: always placed on their dominant hand.
psitaniums: Yes. Tying it up, as it were.
requicksilvered: willing to give their strength to their sub because they are that important to them.
psitaniums: Exactly. It isn't a bother to swear that important part of them to their other half.
psitaniums: So. Social perceptions. Hm.
psitaniums: Well, no, first.
psitaniums: Is everyone either Dom/sub/switch or is it a recognized subset of people?
psitaniums: Who have, like, biological or psychological imperatives?
requicksilvered: hmmm
requicksilvered: I think it might be a subset of people, but it's a vocal minority sort of thing.
psitaniums: Yeah.
psitaniums: Lot of people would fuck 'em over because there were ways to take advantage of them, or they were scared because they don't understand and. Yeah, like that?
requicksilvered: yeah
requicksilvered: there are probably areas where they're more heavily congregated.
psitaniums: And it's not like a Dom needs to be with a sub or a sub needs to be with a Dom, but that tends to be an easier-to-form relationship?
psitaniums: Yeah, certain cities and areas due to the way they were formed. Like any kind of population, yeah?
requicksilvered: yep. It's like a city with a black area or the wite area or hey that's where the Koreans are.
psitaniums: /nod
requicksilvered: and yes, they don't need to have a Dom with a sub and vice versa, but it's just easier for them.
psitaniums: Yeah.
requicksilvered: it's probably also a growing population too.
psitaniums: Oh, absolutely.
psitaniums: Or, at least, people are feeling safer understanding themselves about it.
requicksilvered: yes. or never really knew beforehand that they fell underneath the umbrella.
psitaniums: /nodnod
psitaniums: So, then, what does it mean to be a Dom or a sub in this case?
requicksilvered: hm, probably to do with their mindset, really.
psitaniums: How they feel relationships should be handled/what their place in relationships should be?
requicksilvered: yeah and their ability to access Dom/subspace
psitaniums: /nod
requicksilvered: like normally, they're probably bordering hitting that space.
psitaniums: How do you mean? Bordering it until... they find someone who can help them into it?
requicksilvered: yes
requicksilvered: and they have moments where they really seem like they've crossed into it, like the sub would be trusting and accepting while the Dom is focused and a bit controlling.
psitaniums: Really seem like?
requicksilvered: they haven't actually done it, but they're just slipping into comfortable traits.
psitaniums: Until they find someone who can trigger it in them by having a good opposite reaction?
requicksilvered: yes
psitaniums: /nod
psitaniums: Sooo, public shows of Dom/subspace: obscene or just kind of a PDA thing for them?
requicksilvered: depends on the kind of people, but usually just a PDA thing.
psitaniums: So the kind of thing people would get side-eyes for but not anything they'd have a leg to stand on for complaining.
requicksilvered: yep
psitaniums: Do we wanna do the thing where Doms/subs kinda get wonked in the head if they can't reach their spaces every now and then?
requicksilvered: hmmm.
psitaniums: Depression-like symptoms or something. Not quite withdrawal, but... :|a
requicksilvered: yes, I think so.
requicksilvered: but also they have problems if they're in their spaces for too long.
psitaniums: You mean in the case of someone trying to keep them there for whatever reason?
requicksilvered: yes
requicksilvered: they have to have a bit of a balance going on.
psitaniums: Of course.
requicksilvered: also none of that soulmate shit.
psitaniums: Nah, wasn't even considering it.
psitaniums: Just partners and people in love and divorces and everything like normal relationships.
requicksilvered: exactly
psitaniums: Yes.
requicksilvered: there's also a business in Doms and subs for hire to help with getting into their spaces, I imagine.
psitaniums: Oh, absolutely. Some switches or non-D/s people who've learned how to help get people into their spaces to help them since I doubt there are really enough genuines Doms and subs out there to do all of the work, too.
requicksilvered: oh yes
psitaniums: And it's... I'd think sometimes it's not a sexual thing or a marriage-equivalent, though it does end up being that a lot. Like, there have been love-triangles or something of the sort where a Dom/sub marries a.. what would the term be, cis-preference? Idk. But they still have a Dom/sub, too. Like an official best friend forever.
psitaniums: Kind of in the vein of D/s for hire.
requicksilvered: yeah, I can see that.
requicksilvered: because a Dom or a sub is not always going to be with someone who is one as well.
psitaniums: Exactly.
psitaniums: And it's just kinda like, you marry your spouse and they have a friend they're so close to that you're practically marrying them too.
requicksilvered: hell, there are probably Doms who marry other Doms and subs who marry other subs.
psitaniums: Of course.
requicksilvered: there are probably some divorces over the whole D/s thing, but for the most part, they know what they're getting into and don't care.
psitaniums: Yeah, just like any relationship, really.
requicksilvered: also Robin I imagine probably is the owner of some company.
psitaniums: Some bigwig, huh?
requicksilvered: oh yeah
psitaniums: Peter is probably a student, or just out of advanced education and looking for a job.
psitaniums: But he's having some minor identity crisis that is kind of putting a kink in all that.
requicksilvered: Robin is the dictionary definition of a Dom.
psitaniums: Rough, tough, ain't take no shit, but whatever her sub needs, sub gets?
requicksilvered: yep
requicksilvered: she doesn't flaunt it either. she's just the force of nature
psitaniums: Peter is... someone who needs someone. Incredible emotional support but he needs his own support, too.
psitaniums: /nod
psitaniums: You know, it's hard to pin what makes someone a good... sub personality. Dom personality is pretty... well, straightforward?
requicksilvered: yeah
requicksilvered: subs are usually people who need a stabilizing force in their life.
requicksilvered: not that they're unstable without one.
psitaniums: Yeah, but it's... fulfilling to have someone there by their side?
requicksilvered: yes, exactly.
psitaniums: Someone who is the stabilizing force for everyone else, who needs their own single baseline kinda?
requicksilvered: they're more passive. and not in like the pillow queen lay there and make others do shit for them sort of way.
requicksilvered: yes, exactly
psitaniums: Active vs reactive.
requicksilvered: yep.
requicksilvered: where Doms are the ones who are in charge and run out and do shit, subs are what keep them in check.
psitaniums: They're the focus point.
psitaniums: The orbit that keeps them from flying off?
requicksilvered: yep
requicksilvered: two halves of a whole.
psitaniums: Yes.
psitaniums: Sun and moon.
requicksilvered: push and pull
psitaniums: Yin and yang.
requicksilvered: exactly
psitaniums: So. At a party, huh?
requicksilvered: yep
psitaniums: Play party? Business party? Actual party-party for mutual friends?
requicksilvered: actual party for mutual friends
psitaniums: Kind where Peter would probably wallflower.
requicksilvered: yeah, so Robin's the one who'd initiate contact, yes?
psitaniums: Most likely.
psitaniums: Peter would stick with his own group of friends and then probably wander off to find a phone charger.
requicksilvered: so she initiates contact, starts talking to him
requicksilvered: probably picks up on his cues
psitaniums: While Peter is a bit of a fluttery mess because wow she is hot and talking to him and keep cool?
psitaniums: Not in a totally embarrassing way, but in the self-depreciaiting "wow I am so boring why are you paying attention to me" way.
requicksilvered: awww
requicksilvered: she'd think that's cute, okay
psitaniums: Which would just make him even more flaily.
requicksilvered: she'd probably steer the topic towards whether he's a sub or a Dom and just gauge his experience, stuff like that.
psitaniums: And he'd be like I-I-I don't know? uhm. actually I've had an--uh but no, I don't mean to like, claim to be something, I'm just being dumb
requicksilvered: that'd just make her be all are you experimenting, trying to find out if you are something?
psitaniums: He'd be all flaily and trying to switch it around. No uh I haven't, haven't had time, what about you? fair game and all. totally.
psitaniums: (he'd basically be over-aware of PC police and shit because what do you wanna bet the vocal-est minority are the ones saying if you don't know then you obviously aren't)
requicksilvered: she'd just tell him that she's a Dom and knows what it's like going through that phase where you don't know what you are yet.
psitaniums: And he'd comment how it must have been relieving to figure it out and how long did that take? approximately.
requicksilvered: that'd make her smile while she says that she figured out pretty quickly once she got out there and experimented.
psitaniums: Where he'd just chuckle and admit that he's thought about going to one of those for-hire places to feel things out but he's kind of a poor just-not-a-student with loans and things and it doesn't really matter right now.
requicksilvered: and that would be the point where she tells him that if he ever wants to experiment without worry of spending money, she'd be happy to help him out.
requicksilvered: (shame? what is shame)
psitaniums: Which would just. be. total flail meltdown.
psitaniums: Because she is gorgeous and experienced and taken and loaded and also CURRENTLY TAKEN but uh thank you for the offer but uh what
requicksilvered: she'd just respond to the taken bit that helping somebody experiment isn't cheating.
requicksilvered: (continuing on after that totally is though)
psitaniums: he'd be totally red at this point. oh really, is that so
requicksilvered: and she's as calm as can be. that's right.
psitaniums: w-well, uh... thank you for the offer... but I couldn't possibly-- I mean you must be terribly busy what with running your business and all
requicksilvered: not as busy as you'd think. give me a call if you'd like to take me up on that offer.
requicksilvered: and then she gives him one of her cards. with her cell number on the back.
psitaniums: ... I bet you he tells himself he isn't going to call at all until a few weeks later he hits a low and instead of doing something terribly, horribly stupid, he calls her instead.
requicksilvered: ahahaha yes
psitaniums: And either she has him come to her place and risks her spouse finding them or actually comes over to his bachelor's pad.
requicksilvered: she totally goes to his place.
psitaniums: We could really start a scene here, yo.
requicksilvered: Also I realized that she should be called a Domme, but I honestly don't care right now.
psitaniums: Nah, we can say it's a cultural thing in this 'verse. Like actor v actress, a personal preference.
requicksilvered: Yes I approve of this.
psitaniums: So, here's a question. Dom voice = an actual thing, or just a tone subs pay attention to and anyone could use, or--?
requicksilvered: just a specific tone that subs just pay attention to.
psitaniums: /nod
requicksilvered: it's a commanding tone that isn't quite all there is to it.
requicksilvered: y
psitaniums: Doms wearing a similar item of devotion, y/n?
requicksilvered: YYYYYYYYY
psitaniums: I see I hit something there, hahaha.
requicksilvered: subs not treated as lesser
psitaniums: Yeah.
psitaniums: Like, Doms wear a bracelet that a leash can be hooked to or something. Symbolic. Hand of protection bound to place of offered vulnerability or something.
requicksilvered: oh man yes
requicksilvered: always placed on their dominant hand.
psitaniums: Yes. Tying it up, as it were.
requicksilvered: willing to give their strength to their sub because they are that important to them.
psitaniums: Exactly. It isn't a bother to swear that important part of them to their other half.
psitaniums: So. Social perceptions. Hm.
psitaniums: Well, no, first.
psitaniums: Is everyone either Dom/sub/switch or is it a recognized subset of people?
psitaniums: Who have, like, biological or psychological imperatives?
requicksilvered: hmmm
requicksilvered: I think it might be a subset of people, but it's a vocal minority sort of thing.
psitaniums: Yeah.
psitaniums: Lot of people would fuck 'em over because there were ways to take advantage of them, or they were scared because they don't understand and. Yeah, like that?
requicksilvered: yeah
requicksilvered: there are probably areas where they're more heavily congregated.
psitaniums: And it's not like a Dom needs to be with a sub or a sub needs to be with a Dom, but that tends to be an easier-to-form relationship?
psitaniums: Yeah, certain cities and areas due to the way they were formed. Like any kind of population, yeah?
requicksilvered: yep. It's like a city with a black area or the wite area or hey that's where the Koreans are.
psitaniums: /nod
requicksilvered: and yes, they don't need to have a Dom with a sub and vice versa, but it's just easier for them.
psitaniums: Yeah.
requicksilvered: it's probably also a growing population too.
psitaniums: Oh, absolutely.
psitaniums: Or, at least, people are feeling safer understanding themselves about it.
requicksilvered: yes. or never really knew beforehand that they fell underneath the umbrella.
psitaniums: /nodnod
psitaniums: So, then, what does it mean to be a Dom or a sub in this case?
requicksilvered: hm, probably to do with their mindset, really.
psitaniums: How they feel relationships should be handled/what their place in relationships should be?
requicksilvered: yeah and their ability to access Dom/subspace
psitaniums: /nod
requicksilvered: like normally, they're probably bordering hitting that space.
psitaniums: How do you mean? Bordering it until... they find someone who can help them into it?
requicksilvered: yes
requicksilvered: and they have moments where they really seem like they've crossed into it, like the sub would be trusting and accepting while the Dom is focused and a bit controlling.
psitaniums: Really seem like?
requicksilvered: they haven't actually done it, but they're just slipping into comfortable traits.
psitaniums: Until they find someone who can trigger it in them by having a good opposite reaction?
requicksilvered: yes
psitaniums: /nod
psitaniums: Sooo, public shows of Dom/subspace: obscene or just kind of a PDA thing for them?
requicksilvered: depends on the kind of people, but usually just a PDA thing.
psitaniums: So the kind of thing people would get side-eyes for but not anything they'd have a leg to stand on for complaining.
requicksilvered: yep
psitaniums: Do we wanna do the thing where Doms/subs kinda get wonked in the head if they can't reach their spaces every now and then?
requicksilvered: hmmm.
psitaniums: Depression-like symptoms or something. Not quite withdrawal, but... :|a
requicksilvered: yes, I think so.
requicksilvered: but also they have problems if they're in their spaces for too long.
psitaniums: You mean in the case of someone trying to keep them there for whatever reason?
requicksilvered: yes
requicksilvered: they have to have a bit of a balance going on.
psitaniums: Of course.
requicksilvered: also none of that soulmate shit.
psitaniums: Nah, wasn't even considering it.
psitaniums: Just partners and people in love and divorces and everything like normal relationships.
requicksilvered: exactly
psitaniums: Yes.
requicksilvered: there's also a business in Doms and subs for hire to help with getting into their spaces, I imagine.
psitaniums: Oh, absolutely. Some switches or non-D/s people who've learned how to help get people into their spaces to help them since I doubt there are really enough genuines Doms and subs out there to do all of the work, too.
requicksilvered: oh yes
psitaniums: And it's... I'd think sometimes it's not a sexual thing or a marriage-equivalent, though it does end up being that a lot. Like, there have been love-triangles or something of the sort where a Dom/sub marries a.. what would the term be, cis-preference? Idk. But they still have a Dom/sub, too. Like an official best friend forever.
psitaniums: Kind of in the vein of D/s for hire.
requicksilvered: yeah, I can see that.
requicksilvered: because a Dom or a sub is not always going to be with someone who is one as well.
psitaniums: Exactly.
psitaniums: And it's just kinda like, you marry your spouse and they have a friend they're so close to that you're practically marrying them too.
requicksilvered: hell, there are probably Doms who marry other Doms and subs who marry other subs.
psitaniums: Of course.
requicksilvered: there are probably some divorces over the whole D/s thing, but for the most part, they know what they're getting into and don't care.
psitaniums: Yeah, just like any relationship, really.
requicksilvered: also Robin I imagine probably is the owner of some company.
psitaniums: Some bigwig, huh?
requicksilvered: oh yeah
psitaniums: Peter is probably a student, or just out of advanced education and looking for a job.
psitaniums: But he's having some minor identity crisis that is kind of putting a kink in all that.
requicksilvered: Robin is the dictionary definition of a Dom.
psitaniums: Rough, tough, ain't take no shit, but whatever her sub needs, sub gets?
requicksilvered: yep
requicksilvered: she doesn't flaunt it either. she's just the force of nature
psitaniums: Peter is... someone who needs someone. Incredible emotional support but he needs his own support, too.
psitaniums: /nod
psitaniums: You know, it's hard to pin what makes someone a good... sub personality. Dom personality is pretty... well, straightforward?
requicksilvered: yeah
requicksilvered: subs are usually people who need a stabilizing force in their life.
requicksilvered: not that they're unstable without one.
psitaniums: Yeah, but it's... fulfilling to have someone there by their side?
requicksilvered: yes, exactly.
psitaniums: Someone who is the stabilizing force for everyone else, who needs their own single baseline kinda?
requicksilvered: they're more passive. and not in like the pillow queen lay there and make others do shit for them sort of way.
requicksilvered: yes, exactly
psitaniums: Active vs reactive.
requicksilvered: yep.
requicksilvered: where Doms are the ones who are in charge and run out and do shit, subs are what keep them in check.
psitaniums: They're the focus point.
psitaniums: The orbit that keeps them from flying off?
requicksilvered: yep
requicksilvered: two halves of a whole.
psitaniums: Yes.
psitaniums: Sun and moon.
requicksilvered: push and pull
psitaniums: Yin and yang.
requicksilvered: exactly
psitaniums: So. At a party, huh?
requicksilvered: yep
psitaniums: Play party? Business party? Actual party-party for mutual friends?
requicksilvered: actual party for mutual friends
psitaniums: Kind where Peter would probably wallflower.
requicksilvered: yeah, so Robin's the one who'd initiate contact, yes?
psitaniums: Most likely.
psitaniums: Peter would stick with his own group of friends and then probably wander off to find a phone charger.
requicksilvered: so she initiates contact, starts talking to him
requicksilvered: probably picks up on his cues
psitaniums: While Peter is a bit of a fluttery mess because wow she is hot and talking to him and keep cool?
psitaniums: Not in a totally embarrassing way, but in the self-depreciaiting "wow I am so boring why are you paying attention to me" way.
requicksilvered: awww
requicksilvered: she'd think that's cute, okay
psitaniums: Which would just make him even more flaily.
requicksilvered: she'd probably steer the topic towards whether he's a sub or a Dom and just gauge his experience, stuff like that.
psitaniums: And he'd be like I-I-I don't know? uhm. actually I've had an--uh but no, I don't mean to like, claim to be something, I'm just being dumb
requicksilvered: that'd just make her be all are you experimenting, trying to find out if you are something?
psitaniums: He'd be all flaily and trying to switch it around. No uh I haven't, haven't had time, what about you? fair game and all. totally.
psitaniums: (he'd basically be over-aware of PC police and shit because what do you wanna bet the vocal-est minority are the ones saying if you don't know then you obviously aren't)
requicksilvered: she'd just tell him that she's a Dom and knows what it's like going through that phase where you don't know what you are yet.
psitaniums: And he'd comment how it must have been relieving to figure it out and how long did that take? approximately.
requicksilvered: that'd make her smile while she says that she figured out pretty quickly once she got out there and experimented.
psitaniums: Where he'd just chuckle and admit that he's thought about going to one of those for-hire places to feel things out but he's kind of a poor just-not-a-student with loans and things and it doesn't really matter right now.
requicksilvered: and that would be the point where she tells him that if he ever wants to experiment without worry of spending money, she'd be happy to help him out.
requicksilvered: (shame? what is shame)
psitaniums: Which would just. be. total flail meltdown.
psitaniums: Because she is gorgeous and experienced and taken and loaded and also CURRENTLY TAKEN but uh thank you for the offer but uh what
requicksilvered: she'd just respond to the taken bit that helping somebody experiment isn't cheating.
requicksilvered: (continuing on after that totally is though)
psitaniums: he'd be totally red at this point. oh really, is that so
requicksilvered: and she's as calm as can be. that's right.
psitaniums: w-well, uh... thank you for the offer... but I couldn't possibly-- I mean you must be terribly busy what with running your business and all
requicksilvered: not as busy as you'd think. give me a call if you'd like to take me up on that offer.
requicksilvered: and then she gives him one of her cards. with her cell number on the back.
psitaniums: ... I bet you he tells himself he isn't going to call at all until a few weeks later he hits a low and instead of doing something terribly, horribly stupid, he calls her instead.
requicksilvered: ahahaha yes
psitaniums: And either she has him come to her place and risks her spouse finding them or actually comes over to his bachelor's pad.
requicksilvered: she totally goes to his place.
psitaniums: We could really start a scene here, yo.
requicksilvered: Also I realized that she should be called a Domme, but I honestly don't care right now.
psitaniums: Nah, we can say it's a cultural thing in this 'verse. Like actor v actress, a personal preference.
requicksilvered: Yes I approve of this.
psitaniums: So, here's a question. Dom voice = an actual thing, or just a tone subs pay attention to and anyone could use, or--?
requicksilvered: just a specific tone that subs just pay attention to.
psitaniums: /nod
requicksilvered: it's a commanding tone that isn't quite all there is to it.
